Runs


New Beers Eve Hash

When
Saturday, Apr 6 at 1:00 PM

Where
Escondido Park (1306 Flora Vista Dr, Santa Barbara, CA 93109)

Hares
Keys to the Titty & Projectile Dogshit

Cost
$6

Details
Virgins, whistles, disco balls (or ball, no judgement here), beer vessel, shiggy socks, an appetite for god's greatest nectar.

What you get
BEER!!! Start drinking at 1 o'clock. Hares out at 1:30ish

Additional Info
Cum one, cum all, & cum at the same time! Yet again there's a shitty trail in the works from your fellow fuckin' fucks. This hash is dedicated to those who had to live 13 years without beer pouring from tavern taps! (the horror!!) The year was 1933 on April 6th when Roosevelt said enough was enough & the federal government made beer legal again! We really are fortunate assholes. So let's celebrate with a hash!

Hunny Pot Hash

When
Saturday, Mar 9 at 2:00 AM

Where
Mackenzie Park, Upper Parking Lot at the Lawn Bowling Center (Las Positas Rd & McCaw Ave, Santa Barbara, CA 93105)

Hares
Honor Ass & Picassole

Cost
$6

Details
The same crap you should always bring to a hash: vessel, shiggy socks, whistle, virgins, crappy attitude, powerful thirst for the beerses.

What you get
Sweaty? Drunk? Laid? All depends on you.

Additional Info
You might get wet so come prepared...

On After
Up to the Hares

National Margarita Day TuTu Hash - on a Friday!

When
Friday, Feb 22 at 6:15 PM

Where
TBD

Hares
Bone Star & Keys to the Titty

Cost
$6

Details
MUST wear a tutu. Recommended to bring a virgin, cash and ID.

Additional Info
We think it's no coincidence that National Margarita Day also falls on a 2-2. Come imbibe some tasty 'ritas while flaunting your clothing of toule around unsuspecting muggles of Santa Barbara.

CCPH3 Cum Back Hash

When
Saturday, Feb 16 at 12:00 PM

Where
Santa Maria Brewing (115 Cuyama Ln, Nipomo, CA 93444 A-A+)

Hares
National Pornographic

Cost
$5

What you get
Cum one cum all!! Time to get out and bring your morning drip, clap, scurvy, the bug, fever blisters, pox, crabs and crotch critters. To help welcome back the Central Coast Pirates from their trip across seas unknown hunting for foreign booty and we've got the STDs to prove it!

Additional Info
Wear Pink and Red for this STD hash!

First H3SoB hash of 2019. Remembering IP

When
Saturday, Feb 9 at 1:00 PM

Where
Bridge to Nowhere (1001–1091 Via Gaitero Santa Barbara, CA 93110 United States)

Hares
Jizzzzzzz

Cost
$6

Details
Vessels strongly encouraged. Y'all have hashed enough that you have some sort of vessel, so a very limited amount of Solo cups will be at the start. If we are getting rid of straws we should limit our plastic consumption like proper hippy Californians!! Floral clothing and your thirst for alcohol is all you need for this hash

What you get
A hash you silly wanker.

Additional Info
Come celebrate and remember a truly missed hasher IP Freely who loved martinis and graced us with beautiful flower at every run start. Note 1 o'clock run start so we can enjoy a wonderful martini and watch the hare go out at 1:30 (fish)

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Krampus

When
Saturday, Dec 15 at 2:00 PM

Where
Carillo/Castillo Commuter Lot (whilie it's still an availble hash start)

Hares
Spread Eagle

Cost
6 bucks + rando wrapped/warped gift

Details
rando wrapped/warped gift, bail money, and costumes that look good in a mugshot

Additional Info
You've been bad all year, and this is the trail you deserve. Any questions? Sh*tty gift exchange? Yes, that p0rn in your closet isn't getting any newer. Bring that. Booze? We'll fight over gifts that look like booze. Cut a hole in a box? It never works, does it, SNt? We will provide that cider that (mostly) girls love, Dicken's Cider, and then we will see where trail goes from there!

H3SoB Bashtastic Hash Numero Uno (I think)

When
Saturday, Dec 1 at 2:00 PM

Where
Goleta Beach (5986 Sandspit Rd, Goleta, CA 93117)

Hares
Keys to the Titty and 7 Year Bitch

Cost
$6

Details
Your bike and your thirst for beer

Additional Info
Our fabulous and overzealous hares seem to have overestimated the motor skills of the not-so-average halfmind and will be leading us on a bicycle-based trail. Find yourself a somewhat bicycle-shaped mode of conveyance, bring your usual attire and gear (and virgins), and get your ass to the hash. Should be weird. Someone might end up in the hospital. They have the good drugs there.

Bastard Hijack 10th Analversary

When
Saturday, Nov 17 at 1:30 PM

Where
La Mesa Park (295 Meigs Rd)

Hares
Snot Hard

Cost
$10 for Food, Drinks, & Trail for Food, Drinks, & Trail

What you get
$10 gets you a Bastard vessel, trail beer, pizza at the on after (Cliff Room) and the opportunity to hang with your favorite half-minds."

Additional Info
Attention all wanks and diddlers! H3SoB is being invaded by an insidious group of Bastards! The following statement has been issued bya representative of these would-be subjugators: "The Bastards are celebrating 10 years of drunkenly r*nning/walking/stumbling/crawling through the streets and shiggy of Santa Barbara. Cum celebrate their milestone analversary with a special Saturday trail.

On After
1:30 p.m. show 2:00 p.m. hare off 2:15 p.m. pack out On After: Pizza & Drinks @ Cliff Room

Surprise ER Visit Hash

When
Saturday, Oct 20 at 3:00 PM

Where
Back parking lot of Cross dress for less (Ross) by Girsh park (7055 Market Pl Dr, Goleta, CA 93117)

Hares
Jizzzzzzz

Cost
$6

Details
Bring a vessel to start so as to not make the soccer moms at Girsh park jealous that they are not drinking beer.

What you get
Beer and Trail

H3SoB's 24th Soft Analversary/Tutu/Oktoberfest Hash

When
Saturday, Sep 22 at 2:00 PM

Where
Leadbetter beach (801 Shoreline Dr, Santa Barbara, California 93101)

Hares
Keys to the Titty & Seven Year Bitch

Cost
$10 for Food, Drinks, & Trail

Details
virgin, vessel, and tutu. Leave that thing called dignity at home

What you get
Food, Drinks, & Trail

Additional Info
t's that time of year to celebrate our local SOB kennel! This happens anally, so this is the one time this year we get to celebrate all that these shit-fingers do for us. So ... let's party!!!! The hares have a delicious trail in the works, as well as a BBQ On-After with keg(s?) on the beach.