Runs


H3SoB Bashtastic Hash Numero Uno (I think)

When
Saturday, Dec 1 at 2:00 PM

Where
Goleta Beach (5986 Sandspit Rd, Goleta, CA 93117)

Hares
Keys to the Titty and 7 Year Bitch

Cost
$6

Details
Your bike and your thirst for beer

Additional Info
Our fabulous and overzealous hares seem to have overestimated the motor skills of the not-so-average halfmind and will be leading us on a bicycle-based trail. Find yourself a somewhat bicycle-shaped mode of conveyance, bring your usual attire and gear (and virgins), and get your ass to the hash. Should be weird. Someone might end up in the hospital. They have the good drugs there.

Bastard Hijack 10th Analversary

When
Saturday, Nov 17 at 1:30 PM

Where
La Mesa Park (295 Meigs Rd)

Hares
Snot Hard

Cost
$10 for Food, Drinks, & Trail for Food, Drinks, & Trail

What you get
$10 gets you a Bastard vessel, trail beer, pizza at the on after (Cliff Room) and the opportunity to hang with your favorite half-minds."

Additional Info
Attention all wanks and diddlers! H3SoB is being invaded by an insidious group of Bastards! The following statement has been issued bya representative of these would-be subjugators: "The Bastards are celebrating 10 years of drunkenly r*nning/walking/stumbling/crawling through the streets and shiggy of Santa Barbara. Cum celebrate their milestone analversary with a special Saturday trail.

On After
1:30 p.m. show 2:00 p.m. hare off 2:15 p.m. pack out On After: Pizza & Drinks @ Cliff Room

Surprise ER Visit Hash

When
Saturday, Oct 20 at 3:00 PM

Where
Back parking lot of Cross dress for less (Ross) by Girsh park (7055 Market Pl Dr, Goleta, CA 93117)

Hares
Jizzzzzzz

Cost
$6

Details
Bring a vessel to start so as to not make the soccer moms at Girsh park jealous that they are not drinking beer.

What you get
Beer and Trail

H3SoB's 24th Soft Analversary/Tutu/Oktoberfest Hash

When
Saturday, Sep 22 at 2:00 PM

Where
Leadbetter beach (801 Shoreline Dr, Santa Barbara, California 93101)

Hares
Keys to the Titty & Seven Year Bitch

Cost
$10 for Food, Drinks, & Trail

Details
virgin, vessel, and tutu. Leave that thing called dignity at home

What you get
Food, Drinks, & Trail

Additional Info
t's that time of year to celebrate our local SOB kennel! This happens anally, so this is the one time this year we get to celebrate all that these shit-fingers do for us. So ... let's party!!!! The hares have a delicious trail in the works, as well as a BBQ On-After with keg(s?) on the beach.

Denim Jorts time!!!

When
Saturday, Sep 8 at 2:00 PM

Where
Ben Page Youth Center (4540 Hollister Ave, Santa Barbara, CA 93110)

Hares
Snot Hard

Cost
$6

Details
Vessels, virgins, and you know the rest

What you get
Snotty has stepped up and setting up a trail in SB that you will forever remember

Bottomfeeder Carp hash

When
Saturday, Aug 11 at 3:00 PM

Where
Memorial Park in Carpenteria

Hares
Red Balls for Hire

Cost
$6

Details
Bring floaties, gator repellent, signal device, what's left of your liver after celebrating CumSession's Bday.

What you get
There shall be: prelube, sand in all the wrong places, moisture, shiggy, ocean, scampering, beer, unreasonably long songs, etc.

Additional Info
2 mile all-paved Turkey Walk with one beer check ... Eagle trail around 6.9 miles with 2 beer checks and a "bag of mystery" (spoiler alert : it's booze)

Bartender Appreciation Day Hash

When
Saturday, Jun 30 at 3:00 PM

Where
Hidden Valley Park (actual address isn't found on this floppin' thing...LFH)

Hares
Keys to the Titty & Projectile Dogshit

Cost
$6

What you get
Cum one, cum all! It's time again to appease the Gods of libation with, who else, but your favorite ball licking hounds! It's the last day of the month as well as Bartender Appreciation Day - so honestly, is there any better way to spend your Saturday afternoon? You can thus appreciate yourself after trail, or join in at the on-after party somewhere downtown 😘

Ties and Boxers Hash

When
Saturday, Jun 16 at 3:00 PM

Where
5266 Hollister, Goleta

Hares
Pic n Honor

Cost
$6

Details
Bring a vessel, a virgin, your best necktie, & fanciest pair o boxer shorts, id ( unless you have a silver/platinum mane like ours!), & $$ if you don't like beer.

Additional Info
Cum on out for a little fun in the sun in Noleta! There will be shiggy, really flat trail, doggie friendly, but not so for strollers

Oscar Week Bastard Hash

When
Tuesday, Feb 27 at 6:15 PM

Where
Parking lot behind Home Depot in Goleta Marketplace (6975 Marketplace Dr, Isla Vista, California 93117)

Hares
Jizzzzzzzzzzzzz

Cost
$6

Additional Info
The lovely, laughter-filled Jizzzzz will lead you bastards on a trail filled with golden awards at each BN. No acceptance speech required to receive.

Follow this hare down the rabbit s&^thole

When
Saturday, Jan 27 at 2:00 AM

Where
La Mesa Park

Hares
Jizzzzzzzzzzzzz

Cost
$6

Details
vessel, virgin, a piece of string, and hat of your choosing to hash in

Additional Info
First H3SOB hash of 2018! Let's pop that 2018 Saturday hash cherry! This hare has nothing but the shittiest trail in store for you. Show up to start with your silliest mad hat or any fun little hat to put on your head (head? Who said head?)